i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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