if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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