also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
