so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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