Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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