Heybabeimwearingurpanties
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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