i wish my penis had a tongue
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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