highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Randomize
