you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
