Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
