I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Hippo gnu deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize