Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My vagina is very pro this idea
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