I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He shit in the fireplace
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
