i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
