i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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