she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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