Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
