i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
