return my video game
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
