Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
