At least make sure they are 18
Why
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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