I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
