In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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