real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
What changed your mind?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.