so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?