Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
