He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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