I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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