I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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