so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
