I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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