i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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