My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
