she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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