found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
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