i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
