how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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