I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
