We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Threesome in a minivan. New low
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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