I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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