Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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