Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
