am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
