Will you blow on my dice?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
