wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
