I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize