She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
