I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
These tits shall not be calmed
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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