I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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