speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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