I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can I color on your dick again?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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