I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
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