i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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