When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Randomize
