I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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