it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
