i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
