we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
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