Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Everclear isn't food dammit
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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