so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
