Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
