he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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