office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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