Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
